Past Tense

Here is the second post from my first attempt at blogging. From here on out there will be fresh material. I can’t promise that I won’t ruminate, but that will not be the main focus.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

You Are 32 Weeks, 4 Days
(Or, 52 Days Left Until I'm Someone's Mom)

I always thought those online countdown clocks that expectant Moms used were soooooo corny, yet today I found myself adding one on my Facebook profile. What I initially thought to be a sappy, trite action swiftly mutated into a reality check of epic proportions. In less than eight weeks, unless Baby decides to come sooner, I'm going to be Someone's Mom. Obviously I realized this when I chose to have a child, but the magnitude of the responsibility and changes that lie ahead crystallized once I saw the “time left” on that silly ticker.

Considerable changes occur during the last stages of pregnancy. During these last weeks, you can’t help thinking about being pregnant because you feel it 24/7. Baby is running out of room and each movement makes me ache. The ever increasing weight causes discomfort when I sleep at night. Sitting or standing for long periods of time can be downright painful. I get ridiculously tired doing the tiniest tasks. Don't get me wrong - I'm not complaining. I've had an excellent pregnancy. I’m doing better than most, especially considering I've only got a few weeks left. But all of these components give me a daily reminder: everything is going to change in a very short period of time. EEK.

I’m an older Mom-To-Be so I've done exactly what I pleased for a long time. If I wanted to skip dinner, go out to a midnight show, or make last minute weekend plans, it wasn’t an issue. Now there will be Someone Else to plan for and around. Honestly, for a while I was pretty bummed about losing that freedom. I've come to realize that the only way having a child strips you of your good times is completely dependent upon your mindset. Although it definitely scares me, I’m looking forward to the changes to come. Being a parent will afford me new experiences and adventures. It will allow me to see things I’ve already done through a set of fresh eyes. It will set my inner child free. (Who am I kidding - I never really grew up, as all of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer action figures and gigantic stuffed Tigger in my office prove. A child just gives me an excuse for watching my Looney Tunes DVD collection without being judged as harshly.) Am I still scared and nervous about the changes and sacrifices around the bend? You bet.

Bring on Day 53.